The Adventures of Tobi and Pig!
by gisella89
Summary: Possibly one of the most... um, eh, interesting stories I have ever written... Anyway, it's about Tobi (with no trace of Madara of Obito) who is sent on a mysterious mission to kidnap Tonton the pig! This unlikely pair will go on stupid adventures and Idk
1. Um, oookay?

**You know that time when you ask your friend what to write/draw and they just come up with the most random idea? That's how this was created. I might update every year or so. Actually every few months when I feel like it but with NaNoWriMo happening...**

**This is just gonna be the most derptocious randomosity ever. Enjoy.**

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><p><strong><em>THE ADVENTURES OF TOBI AND PIG! 1<em>**

Tonton watched Tsunade leave her office. She had said that she would only be out for a bit, and that Tonton need not worry. Shizune was also out, so Tonton would have to be responsible for herself. It was hard to imagine Shizune leaving the office on such short notice but Tonton didn't really care much. Although she liked Shizune she didn't need her there! She was an independent pig!

Tonton was bored though. Tonton did not like to be bored at all. Tonton oinked melancholily and sat on the desk.

There was a fast rapid knock on the door and Tonton heard a giggle from outside. Tsunade wasn't there so the person would have to just leave, but Tonton was curious to see who it was. In a very fake pseudo 'girly' high pitched voice the person said "Is the Hokage here?" then they giggled again in their real voice, which was slightly lower. There was obviously no answer "Shizu- what's your name are you there?" The person continued, in the stupid 'girly' voice. Tonton was not so sure what the pork was happening, but who ever it was was being weird. "Nobody in there?" It called again in the voice. When it got no reply there was silence for a moment and then there was a loud exploding noise.

The door went boom! Tonton jumped back with a start, because whatever she had been expecting, it was not for the door to explode. Little shards of door scattered the floor and one hit Tonton on the nose. Tonton oinked angrily and looked up at the figure who was standing where the door once was. It was man in long black robes adorned with red clouds, Tonton thought she had seen that robe before... hmm... The man seemed normal except for his most defining feature, a mask that stretched completely over his face. It was bright orange with a small hole where his left eye would have been, except all you could see was blackness. It had a swirled pattern.

He looked very menacing, but when he started up his speech...

"Oh he ha ho! No Tsunade! And Deidara said I couldn't do it!" The man said in a goofy way "Hai little piggy! I'm Tobi!"

Tonton looked up at Tobi blankly then oinked questioningly. "Ahh, you wanna know why I'm here! I was sent on a journey to capture you as bait!" He said. Tonton walked back a bit, but in a flash Tobi grabbed her up with ninja skills. Tonton didn't really get what was happening but she was angry at this mysterious man. "Oink oink!" The pig said "What's your name, piggy?" "Oink!" Tonton replied "Your name is 'Oink?' Oookay. Nice naming skills to Tsunade." said Tobi.

Tonton shook her head in exasperation. "Oink..." Tonton said rolling her little eyes around. "I'm gonna take you back to the A-!" He shouted loudly, then froze and looked around guiltily. "No one heard that right?" He asked in a hushed whisper. "Oink" Tonton replied. "I wish you said something other then 'Oink' all the time" Tobi pouted. "'Cuz Imma be with you for a while." "Oink" Tonton said as if like 'Hey, I can't help it."

Then Tobi fist pumped, and Tonton could pretty much see a lightbulb form above Tobi's head and said "Pig learning jutsu!" loudly. A small blue glow surrounded Tonton and Tobi and Tobi supposedly grinned. "I knew that'd come in handy! Now I can speak to you, Oink!" Said the Akatsuki. Tonton looked at Tobi blankly again. "Hey Oink, can you speak to me?"

Tonton tried oinking, and to anyone else it would've just sounded like a regular oink, but Tobi understood. "My name isn't Oink" Tonton told him. Tobi gave Tonton the thumbs up that meant he could understand her. "It's Tonton" The pig said "OoOooh, so hallo Tonton."

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><p><strong>So that's a start there peeple. Tobi is so AMAZING! I wish I could say the same for this story. Pretend Obito and Madara don't exist and that Tobi is just the random randomster person he is for much of the mangaanime. And that's the beauty of fanfic, it's okay to change the plot**


	2. My mind

Why is this happening to my mind?

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><p><em><strong>THE ADVENTURES OF TOBI AND PIG! 2<strong>_

Tonton's eyes were blindfolded tightly. She was bouncing around in the classic kidnapping burlap sack Tobi had put her in. How dare he pignap Tonton! Tobi's sack rattled along, and Tonton with it. Outside of the small sack Tobi ran along, jumping from branch to branch expertly. Tobi was holding the burlap sack in his hand, and thankfully it was reasonably soundproof. Tonton had generally given up trying to make Tobi annoyed by endless talking. Tonton knew Tsunade would come and save her. "Tsunade's gonna come save me!" Tonton squealed at Tobi while bumping around from his movement. "That's what Dei wanted~! You're a bribe to Tsunade and stuff I think. Nobody would tell me everything because they thought I would spill the beans! It's annoying how no one trusts me! 'Specially Itachi! Though maybe he was just mad at me for asking if he was itchy, cuz it sounds like Itachi. I had burns for a while" Tobi went on. "They had good reason for not trusting you" Said Tonton. "You know, I'm hungry" "Well then, just eat me" Tonton replied annoyedly "I do like pork," Tobi started and Tonton froze up "But I can't eat you, or Dei would eat me" Tonton sighed in relief through her pig nostrils "All the other Akatsuki would as well. And for Zetsu I mean he might actually literally eat me."

There was a silence as Tobi went on bounding through the trees. "Where are we going?" Asked Tonton. "Now that's a _secret_!" Tobi piped up doing a peace sign next to his face anime style. Tonton couldn't see that and she did a summersault in the sack. If only she could make Tobi tell her, but it would take lots of planning and much careful strate-

"The Akatsuki hideout" He blurted. So much for careful strategy. "Oh, I shouldn't have said that..." "I think we've gathered you're not very smart" "Heeyyy, I'm S-rank, y'know."

Tonton's little mouth hung open. He was an S-RANK?! Maybe Tonton had been all wrong about this 'Tobi' character. Maybe he was actually an evil, depressed, person who doesn't care about life only revenge on another ninja and he'd been training his life to avenge some person, and he's actually holding in a huge dangerous force that could kill anybody and he's in contact with somebody really evil and this Tobi person was just a ruse and a mask to not show his true self he is ashamed of and- pppppphhhhttttt, LOL. Like that would happen. After a while Tobi stopped. "We're almost there." He said "Great!" Tonton said, slightly sarcastic.

They went on and in around 10 more minutes he stopped again. "We're here!" "Can you let me out?" "I'm not THAT un-logical. I know if you see this place you can say where it is."

Tonton huffed. There was lots of shuffling in the bag and then he dropped it.

"We're here!" He said in a cheery tone "Come look at the pig, Deidara-senpai~! She's cute." "Go away, Tobi" The voice Tonton judged to be the Deidara one replied, annoyed. "But this is the one we use to bribe the Hokage!" "Listen, I don't care right now. I'm art-ing and I need silence for a moment, then I'll go see this pig." "AWWWWWWW, DEIDARA-SENPAI~ PLEAAASEEE" Tobi begged "Pwwweeaaaassseee?" "No." "PWWEEAAAASSSSEEE?!" "NO." "PWITTY PWEASE WITH DANGOS ON TOP?" "FINE, TOBI." Deidara shouted. He went on over to the bag where Tonton was and opened it up. Tonton oinked in fright. A woman was peering down at her, her blonde bangs hanging over her face. Tonton had thought it was a man by her voice but what man wears such a feminine ponytail?


End file.
